Is it possible, I wonder, to be truly happy in this life? Not happy, according just to our senses, you understand, but happy in every sense, as our first parents were happy before the Fall.

Perhaps we can never experience the kind of happiness known only to our first parents before they sinned, but we believe that through the Redemptive act of Christ and the sacrament of baptism, we are restored and set free. Once again we can become friends of God and that original innocence can be ours.

Looking around me I am constantly reminded of our sinful and fallen state; human beings are flawed and broken until they cooperate with the grace on offer. Working as a social worker I am surrounded by disorder and a steady stream of human chaos caused by sin, comes my way. I hear about this wonderful Redemption in my parish church every Sunday morning, but by Monday afternoon I am convinced of the grim reality of Original Sin!

Closer to home I am also reminded of our fallen nature by my wife’s Illness; she has suffered from a mental disorder for the past 25 years. I can only take comfort from my faith and learn to understand that like Job we sometimes have to undergo trials and tribulations of the most appalling kind. They are a test of our faith. So my marriage vows keep me running in the race. I am sure it is true to say that mental health problems present the cruellest kind of cross to bear. Besides the actual suffering and pain one has also to put up with the taboo which accompanies the illness in our society. Far from sounding like a prophet of doom! I have to say that I was not pleased when I recently suffered a road accident and narrowly escaped death. Fortunately I only received a broken leg and trapped nerves in both arms!

It is not surprising that I am often searching for that welcome ray of sunshine from God.

One beautiful May morning I awoke early to see the sun shining through the bedroom window. I felt a sudden and impulsive call to drive to Walsingham and to pray at the foot of the statue of Our Lady. At 7.00am therefore I found myself driving through the quiet streets of Bradford, before most commuters had started their journeys. I enjoyed a fast exuberant drive down to that pretty Norfolk shrine and pulled into the empty car park next to the church. The spring air felt fresh and clean and the surrounding, verdant countryside was welcome balm to my stressed body and spirit. I wandered into the modern and attractive church, which was empty and still. I heard a noise from the sacristy and wondered if there was a priest around to hear my confession and there on cue was a kindly smiling cleric who said that he would be pleased to hear my confession. After the sacrament of Reconciliation and some words of spiritual direction I emerged from the confessional cleansed, healed and forgiven. I now prepared from round two: the life giving Sacrament of the Eucharist! I knelt there knowing with some awesome certainty that I was about to receive the King of Kings, fresh from having all my sins forgiven. I was innocent at last. I began to experience a belief and feeling that I was unique, privileged and loved by God the Father. My anxieties and cares of this life fell from me like scales.

After mass I walked across to the café and ordered a wholesome and spectacular three-course lunch, never had food tasted so good. After this delicious lunch I stretched out on the warm grass and basked in the glorious sunshine; was this true happiness I mused….I knew that the sunshine and the good food were only part of the equation. What pierced me deeply was the fact that the two life-giving Sacraments had fed me with eternal sunshine and joy.

My long day was drawing to a close; but the sun was still shining as I headed north to Bradford on that memorable day out.

Denis Jackson